The Rainbow Conspiracy Page 5

  Then, in an attempt to lighten things up a bit he added: ‘As a matter of fact, an actor friend of mine told me in all seriousness that he thought it had flown into the UK from the States on the Skytrain.’

  For the first time during the journey from the airport, Michael took his eyes off the road and looked at Clive incredulously.

  ‘No joking!’ Clive continued. ‘He blamed Freddie Laker’s cheap flights to the US, which have been tempting us gay Brits to hop over to New York and San Francisco in droves, and gorge ourselves on the kind of bathhouses and tea rooms that don’t exist back home.

  ‘And do you think he might be right?’ Michael enquired.

  ‘Well, it’s obviously an exaggeration, but what I do know for sure is that a lot of the English cases have been chaps who’d come over here and had sexual contact with men they met on holiday … and that’s why I’m so worried.’

  Michael’s mood changed and he became rather intense and, with a formal tone to his voice, stated that AIDS stood for Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. He maintained, that as far as he was aware, it was caused by some sort of transmission agent, and he indicated that evidence suggested that the so-called agent that caused the known symptoms was either a virus, bacterium, protozoa or some form of fungal substance.

  ‘Michael, I’m afraid now you’ve lost me, it all sounds a bit too technical. I really don’t know the difference between some of the things you’re describing.’

  ‘Yes, it is rather complicated,’ Michael admitted. ‘But you see I have had to get on top of all of this. Whatever this so-called agent is, it seems to cause a complete or partial breakdown of the body’s natural ability to fight off disease. Apparently it can lie dormant for a long time and then, for no obvious reason, the most minor of infections can come along and this agent takes hold and can pull you right down, and ultimately kill you.’

  Clive didn’t really want to ask the next question but he just couldn’t stop himself. ‘Is there a high mortality rate?’

  ‘They reckon it really is quite high: over eighty per cent. So, ultimately, what steps in and takes advantage of the breakdown of defences and becomes the major cause of death is either a form of skin cancer known as Kaposi’s sarcoma or a rare form of pneumonia, which is what killed Dennis.’

  ‘So in the end he died of pneumonia because his immune system was so fucked.’

  ‘Yes, in a nutshell, but they weren’t able to nail the agent that caused it. Apparently they still haven’t been able to come up with a positive solution and find a cure, and it seems that not every AIDS patient shows signs of the same root cause. You know Clive, there is still so much uncertainty as to why some people have more severe immune disorders than others and some live longer than others.’

  ‘But Michael, you did say that they treated Den with some drugs.’

  ‘Yes, that’s so, and for a while it did seem to attack the pneumonia. In hospital they gave him morphine, which alleviated the pain but gave him terrible nightmares. As hard as he tried to fight back, the virus just grew stronger and finally it won. That powerful, muscular body of his just seemed to disintegrate before my very eyes and I watched him shrivel away and become an old man. I’d never seen anything quite like it and, in less than a week, Dennis had aged so badly that he was barely able to walk; he seemed to just shuffle about, constantly attached to a drip that he wheeled behind him.’

  Michael’s description of Dennis’ last days proved too painful for Clive who, now overcome with grief, started to sob quietly.

  ‘Honestly Clive, I didn’t mean to distress you, and I realise how selfish I’m being, but you see I’ve had no one to share all this with, not even my own parents. Oh, don’t get me wrong, my folks have been great and loved Den as a son. But there are still certain things I just haven’t been able to talk about yet.’

  ‘Michael, I totally understand and that’s why I’m here. Look, you’re my friend and Dennis’s partner and you know I was in love with him too. I needed to know how he spent his last days. You see, I’ve never had to sit by the bedside of a friend who was dying, and I wasn’t here to see him suffer and pass away as you were. So I need to know what he went through and I want the truth. I made Den a promise that if ever anything happened to either of you, I would always be there for you both.’

  ‘And here you are and now you have it. He was really brave and you need to know that too.’

  ‘It all seems so very unfair.’

  ‘It most certainly is and that’s why the current research is so important. You know they still haven’t found a vaccine that can actually help restore the underlying immune deficiency that finally leads to death. We need to get to the bottom of what’s causing this epidemic and why it seems to be decimating our gay community.’

  ‘I absolutely agree with you and now at least I feel a little better informed about what we’re all dealing with.’

  ‘You know Clive, some people are calling it the “gay plague” and believe that nature is having its revenge on us for having enjoyed so much sexual freedom during the last decade.’

  Michael’s last remark made Clive remember the rumour he’d heard going round New York: that it wasn’t nature’s revenge but something a lot more sinister, and that there were even some people who thought it had been instigated by the American government. At the time, he just put it down to the kind of homophobic gossip you hear in any big city with a large gay population. Now, sensitive to Michael’s distress, he was sure that this was certainly not the right moment to discuss such matters, and consequently Clive applied a much more conciliatory approach to the discussion at hand.

  ‘But Michael, according to the little I’ve read, at least a quarter of AIDS patients worldwide are not homosexual men. I understand that some people receiving blood transfusions have developed it because they were given infected blood.’

  ‘Yes, yes! I’m only too familiar with all the facts. Drug addicts can pass it on sharing needles and haemophiliacs seem to be at an even greater risk, since they often get infected by anonymous donors, and the chances of the blood banks being contaminated must be high. I suppose we should all be much more responsible and refuse to donate our blood. But the fact remains that over seventy-five per cent of the men who contract this disease in the US are gay, and this high percentage troubles and alarms me’

  Michael was clearly getting upset and Clive tried to calm the situation: ‘I was only trying to suggest that it’s not just a gay illness, that’s all and let’s face it, we can’t be entirely blamed for spreading AIDS and causing this epidemic. I’ve read somewhere that it’s been going on in Africa amongst heterosexuals for a long time, and that it’s only now that doctors in the West have been able to recognise it for what it is. I know it’s easier for me, coming from the other side of the pond where there aren’t so many cases, but it is important for us not to get all guilt-ridden and panic about it.’

  ‘I’m sorry to have to say this, but it is easier for you, Clive. And you’re right, I am panicking. Specially when they told me that because my lover had it, there is a strong likelihood that I may have caught it too. The little they do know is that it does appear to be sexually transmitted and I was told I was a high-risk candidate for catching it. Listen, buddy – I’m scared shitless!’

  The brown sedan had pulled up some time ago, and they both just sat in silence in the parked car. Their discussion had once again flashed up the fact that Clive could also be at risk himself and that succeeded in distracting him momentarily. Then, when he looked back at Michael, saw the terror in his friend’s eyes and the anguish he was going through, Clive became much more concerned for him, and was completely overcome with a sense of helplessness. He tried to be reassuring and silently placed his hand firmly on Michael’s, which was still clutching the steering wheel.

  This time it was his friend who broke the silence.

  ‘I guess I’ve been wanting to let this out to somebody … and I’m just sorry it had to be you.’

  ‘
Well, I’m not. You’re why I’ve come to Columbus, and I wanted to be with you,’ Clive responded, as he squeezed Michael’s hand even tighter.

  One thing’s for sure, Clive, if I do have it, you couldn’t catch it from me socially. I mean, not just from sitting next to me in the car, with me breathing all over you. Apparently they don’t even recommend quarantine: it’s fine for us to use the same towels, cups – and even toilet seats seem safe enough. However, the latest research does indicate that whatever this agent might be, it has to be carried directly into the bloodstream by other bodily fluids such as saliva, semen or piss. So transmission would almost certainly have to be through direct sexual contact. And I can assure you, I’m keeping celibate at the moment.’

  ‘Michael, darling, that’s you and me both.’

  The AIDS discussion had exhausted the two of them, and they both needed to get out of the car and get some fresh air. Clive noticed that they had parked in the very same spot that Dennis had chosen the first time he’d been taken to Michael’s house. Clive just stood there for a while, gazing up at the familiar two-storeyed semi-detached wooden building, but his bout of nostalgia was interrupted by the loud sound of the car boot being slammed shut.

  Michael approached, carrying Clive’s luggage: ‘I guess it hasn’t changed that much, apart from the odd fresh coat of paint.’

  ‘It’s funny how things come back to you,’ said Clive, ‘but I remember thinking, when I first came here with Dennis, how strange it was to enter your house by the back door, rather than using the main door to the front porch.’

  At this point they both broke into laughter for the first time since Michael had collected Clive from the airport.

  ‘Clive, let’s get some dinner. I’ll just go and dump the bags inside and come straight out.’

  Michael lived near Ohio State University campus, and there were a number of local eateries to chose from. He selected one he usually frequented and, on entering, they were greeted by an overkeen, tall, blonde waitress, who showed them to a table for two in an empty section of the restaurant. Having seated her two customers, she brightly introduced herself.

  ‘Hello there, my name’s Heidi. Now what would you two gentlemen like to drink today? The dinnertime offer is tequila sunrise at a dollar and fifty cents.’

  She almost seemed to sing the information at them and showed a great deal more enthusiasm than Clive was used to back home and so, in his most affected English accent, he responded: ‘Well, I haven’t had one of those in yaarhrs and that would do me perfectly.’

  ‘Make it two, miss,’ added Michael, and with both her customers so easily sorted, Heidi turned on her heels and went back to the bar.

  ‘Michael, I’m sure you know that my love affair was with America, as well as with Dennis. It’s so good to back in the jolly US of A.’

  ‘I’m so very glad you’ve come, especially under the circumstances. Speaking of which, I wanted to ask you what Den was so mad about when he brought you to my house that first time? He was in such a temper and his face looked like thunder.’

  ‘Actually, it was me who was furious, because he’d told me you wouldn’t be at home. So when he put his key in the lock and the door was suddenly sucked inward, we were both surprised to see you standing there.’

  ‘Oh, I get the picture.’

  Dennis had taken Clive out to lunch and they’d had a bit of a row, which Clive admitted to Michael was mainly his fault. He confessed that at the time he was still infatuated by Dennis, but because his American idol had refused to sleep with him the previous night, he had started to behave badly and was having a bit of a sulk. Dennis, on the other hand, in his soft-spoken, let’s-be-reasonable tone of voice, had tried to win his English buddy round, but Clive just wasn’t having any of it.

  ‘You really did know him very well,’ said Michael.

  ‘Yes. He told me how I had meant so much to him in Provincetown, and that the last thing he wanted to do was to hurt me. Back then, he actually confessed that I was the first man he had ever kissed.’

  ‘And did you believe him?’

  ‘I didn’t know what to think and you know, in those days, I was virtually a virgin myself. But with those appealing blue eyes of his, who wouldn’t believe him? But over lunch he played his ace card by telling me that the problem was that I represented a threat to his relationship with you.’

  ‘That was so typical Dennis. As much as I loved him, I hated the way he could soft-talk his way out of an awkward situation.’

  ‘Dennis made me feel so guilty that I just felt unable to meet you that day.’

  At which point the drinks arrived with the overzealous waitress: ‘Now, gentlemen, don’t these look delicious? Would you like to order your food?’

  ‘We’ll have the cocktails first … Heidi,’ Michael said firmly.

  ‘Oh, no problem sir. Enjoy! Just call me when you’re ready.’

  ‘To be honest, said, Clive, ‘I just couldn’t admit to myself that I’d come in search of a lost ideal, and I suppose I was behaving like an immature teenager. But what had really pissed me off was that he had given me such a warm welcome, made me feel he still cared for me, then showed me the spare room and worst of all, went off into the night and dumped me. If he’d have been going to see you, I would have understood. But no. He even told me he was off to the local gay disco to meet his friend he used to call Disco Dick. He was such a number, but you know what? I forgive him for everything, and I’m finding it very hard to believe that we’ve lost Dennis for ever.’

  After an awkward silence, Michael admitted that Dennis was a mass of contradictions and confessed that he did know that Dennis wasn’t coming over to see him that night, since he’d told his lover that he was going to stay with his parents for Easter, and they lived on the other side of town.

  He went on to explain that he’d had to alter his plans because he’d gone into his studio and lost all track of the time. He had put off visiting his folks till the following day and was finishing off a painting he was working on, and was genuinely not expecting Clive that afternoon.

  ‘Dennis had told me you were an artist and he was so very proud of your work. I remember he was quite curious to know what I thought about your paintings.’

  ‘He was my greatest fan and encouraged me to exhibit.’

  ‘While you were busy making coffee in the kitchen, I sidled up to one of the pictures on display in your living room, and guessed you’d painted it. Dennis followed me over and told me it was your latest work. He was as pleased as punch when I told him I genuinely liked your use of colour and texture … and I really did.’

  ‘Yes, I remember the kind things you said. And then I asked you if you wanted to see my studio.’

  ‘And I guess we both remember what happened next.’

  ‘Yes, I’m not too proud about that. I seem to remember we both wanted to entice you into a threesome. It wasn’t just Den’s idea, you know?’

  ‘And at first, I was just too inhibited to accept the offer. I think I said something stupid like: “Sorry chaps, but threesomes are illegal in my country,” and then I ran into the bathroom and pretended to wash my hands.’

  And once again Michael responded with a long silence, which Clive broke. ‘I can’t wait to see what you’re working on now.’

  ‘With all that’s been going on lately, I haven’t been able to concentrate much in my studio, but of course I’d love to show you the abstract stuff I was into last year – that is, before Den got sick.’ At this point Michael summoned Heidi over and suggested that it was time to order food.

  ‘I can recommend the special: silverside of beef with roast potatoes at three dollars fifty,’ Heidi beamed.

  ‘Actually, I haven’t had a decent hamburger since I was last in the States, and I’d really love one.’

  ‘Wouldn’t you prefer something more filling? Dinner’s on me, you know.’

  ‘Honestly Michael, I’d love a cheeseburger with fries.’

  ‘Then tha
t’s what you shall have.’

  Heidi seemed disappointed, but her face lit up when Michael ordered the silverside of beef, jacket potato, squash, horseradish sauce, salad and Jell-O, along with a good bottle of Zinfandel. ‘Good choice, sir,’ she announced as she disappeared to get their order.

  ‘You must know, Michael, the last thing I wanted to do was to come between you and Den. Nevertheless, I stupidly thought that by inviting me to visit with him he simply wanted to continue our affair.’

  ‘And he probably did. Just in case you didn’t realise, Dennis and I had a pretty open relationship, especially at that time. We both had tricks on the side you know, but I suppose we never got involved with them; in my case they were just for sex. With Den, it was a little more complicated.

  ‘Yes, I did come to realise that, but I suppose I was just too naive and English and far too narrow-minded to get my head around all the sexual freedom you guys enjoyed here in the States.’

  ‘I wonder,’ Michael mused. ‘Do you suppose those days will ever return?’

  ‘I sincerely hope so.’ Then, steering the conversation back to Dennis, Clive continued: ‘I have to say I knew that Dennis had come out with a vengeance since we met in Provincetown, and that he had become aware of how attractive he was to other men. Anyway, when I woke up in his house that next morning, I did feel differently about him and realised that I had been able to shake off the power he had over me and I sensed that he hadn’t quite expected that.’

  ‘Did he act all wounded and rejected?’

  ‘Yes, he tried that one on, and I was well aware that he had a genuinely vulnerable side, which was very endearing. But you know,’ Clive continued, ‘I really had grown up overnight and even surprised myself with the adult way I handled Dennis the following day. He had spent almost the entire lunchtime trying to make amends and show how fond he was of me.’